NOTE: I will not be continuing The Rainbow Factory Revised. I have no idea what to write after the last chapter, so here's the parody! I hope you enjoy!
It was a bright, spring-time day in Keron. The weather was predically perfect because today was the day of the flying exam for all the little tadpoles. Taruru had just turned old enough to take the test. He woke up nervous, but after barfing once he felt alot better.
"That's gross." Tororo scuffed looking away.
Tororo and Pamama are there for moral support, they decided to come along after seeing how nervous Taruru was. So then Taruru goes out there to sign a couple wavers, and then he waited in line. Standing next to him was a bright yellow tadpole, who was probably the same age as him. "Hey there pretty, I like your looks; does it match your personailty?"
"I don't knooww.." She replided.
"Mine doooessss." Taruru grinned.
"I'm Sakuku." Sakuku said introducing herself.
"I'm HOOT Taruru, and these are my friends Tororo and Pamama."
"I've never seen those tadpoles here; are they taking the exam?"
"Noo there just here to watch my ass HOWA!"
Then there's like some kind of instructor there named Cororo; she looked like a normal Keronian. "Students! Stop your chattness, we've got work today! I have a test to admistraight and it will not be postponed. Now continue to stand in a disorginized line and I will call your names in aphibetial order so.." She ran over to a random student. "Are you chewing gum? Spit it out." The student spitted the gum out, and Cororo walked back to the other students again. "Now; I will call your names and our judges will decide if you pass the exam. However, I must warn you. There are many ways to fail; if you fly to far west, you will fail. If you drop below the cloud layer, you will fail. If you peform the exam in reverse, you will fail."
"What if you finsh the exam too fast?" Taruru asked with a smirk.
"Then you will fail."
"What if we don't pass the exam?"
"Then you exit the educational system and that is a world in educators found upon to understand. I know not what will happen."
"So we don't have to go to school anymore?" Taruru sounded excited, and a smile appeared on his face.
"I assume yes! Though I dare not codaplat the consenquences."
"SWEET! I want that one!" Taruru said to Sakuku.
Everyone gets ready and Cororo calls out some names. The first one is some little tadpole named Aoruru.
"I hear he has Keroaids." Sakuku told Taruru.
"YOU there! Do not talk during the exam!" Cororo pointed at Sakuku.
Aoruru starts with the test but pretty much right away he breaks one arm, dislocates the other; and chips fore-te. He does durn free-fall which was pretty sure wasn't possible before.
"Somebody must help that tadpole!" Sakuku demanded, then slipped Taruru a note asking if he liked her or not.
"I do not think that tadpole can be helped." Pamama said as Taruru passed the note back. Suddenly Cororo shounted at them, "Are you passing notes!? If you are caught passing notes during the exam, then you are failed."
"But I wasn't passing any notes about the exam!" Sakuku replided.
"This is a educational system, the system does not have time to differatiant between good and bad note passing. Go to the Gates of Shame with Aoruru, NOWWW!" Cororo commanded pointing to the Gates of Shame.
"I guess he's not passing anything that had to do with the exam." Tororo said to Pamama. Sakuku goes to the Gates of Shame, and Taruru's name comes up next! "Wait!" Tororo said, "What if we help you with your exam?"
"Now that's a brillent idea baby; but I'm not sure if I can suduce Cororo enough for the judges to allow it sugarpie."
"The rules say that no tadpole can recieve assitence from another tadpole taking the test. Or a bizzaro tadpole. The system does not have time to understand it's on content. So, you are primited to recieve help from your friends; however, if they turn out to be secretly taking the test, you will fail."
"Alll right! Let's show them the true power of a threesum, HOWA!"
"Were gonna ace this test!" Tororo promised.
"Your words are stupid; but I must agree with the group." Pamama added.
The entire test is just a pysical exam, so with two other tadpoles strapped to you; your basically boomed to the cloud kicking exercise, Tororo gets tangled in one of the hoops in the aqitly section, and the extra weight causes you to right through the cloud-floor during the free-fall poportion. The judges..Kind of fail you with abengence. As some of the instructors started to help Taruru, he demanded, "Wait! I want a do-over! I had unfair handicap and I had two tadpoles riding me the whole time! HOOT!"
"The educational system does not have time to understand the differnece between a normal tadpole and a tadpole who has other tadpoles tied to him. If this exam were fair, it would take ALL day. Now; go to the Gates of Shame."
No amount of logic or resoning can presuade the educational system. They've got no other choice but to go to the Gates of Shame with Aoruru and Sakuku.
"I want to go with the other tadpoles!" Pamama demanded, "There are more of them!"
Waiting for you there is pretty much the creepyest keronian Taruru's ever seen. He looks like someone cooked bacon on his cap this morning; he's got the kind of facial hair scraf you use to scrap crud off of dishes that you've left out for like, a month. He's got a beat-up old van with no engine in it, and Taruru could only assume that he pulls it himself.
"I will not stand for this kind of humilation!" Sakuku exclaimed.
"No one is humilated." Pamama replided.
"Yeah your not humilated Sakuku!" Tororo added.
"It's true...Now you sound like a idiot."
"Well NOW I'm being humilated; and I will not stand for this kind of humilation!"
"My name is Sawsoso! And zis is my cat!" Sawsoso pointed to his cat, "And he payz the billz; but I haz rightz too!" He stared at them for a second, "GET IN DE VAN!"
"U-Um m-my arm is broken." Aororu said; then his arm snapped out, "L-Like really, REALLY bad."
"Okay, NOW GET IN DE VAN!"
"I was hoping for some medicial attention."
"I will not stand for this treatment!" Sakuku objected, glaring at Sawsoso.
"FINE. GET IN DE VAN. Za cat iz a doctor!"
Everyone stared at him.
"HOW DO YOU THINK HE PAYZ THE BILLZ?"
Aoruru climbs in the van and the cat follows after him. Sawsoso pops the hood of his van and pulls some clipbourds out and stuff. "HERE. Fill out dez medical paperz. Be sure to list any predication allergies; please include your insurence when you return the formz!"
"He has Keroaids." Sakuku pointed to Aoruru.
Everyone fills out the paper work as best as they can and after awhile the cat comes out and Sawsoso dazzers everyone into the back of the van. The entire process used kind of a lot of unessary psyical contact. The inside of the van smelled like burnt cheese and mouth wash and the only thing in there was a bunch of bug sprays. It looked like Aoruru's all better too; well atleast in one piece. That cat is a pretty good miracle worker, noting without a great lack in medical supplies. The van starts moving, where they're going they have no idea! But they get the feeling it's going to be kind of a long trip. "So...." Tororo broke the silence.
"I hear you have Keroaids." Pamama pointed to Sakuku. "Do any of the rest of us have Keroaids?"
Sawsoso his route is totally indirect, he's going all over the Keron town. He stops at the drive-thru at the bank.
"Zats because the cat pays the rent, doesn't mean I don't haz rightz!" Sawsoso yelled in the intercom. "And I would like to deposit a check! ZA CAT CAN'T STOP ME!"
Then he stopped at the drive-tru at Mc-Soy's. "I would like a double happy!"
"Ja, you can have a double happy GET THE HELL OUT OF MY DRIVE-TRU" The intercom replided back.
He then drops everyone off at the hardware store and leaves them there for like a hour. When he comes back he's smells like fish. Basically he takes them all over town then he finally drives them to the Weather Factory. A pair of workers approuch the van. They're wearing gym clothes and Mexican ressling masks to hide their mysterious idenity.
"Hey Sawsoso." One of the wokers welcomed.
"ZER IS NOTHING HEY ABOUT ETT."
"Soo..These kids they're from the acutal exam this time right?"
"ZE ONLY THING I HATE MORE THAN CHILDREAN, ARE CHILDREAN ON SKATEBOURDS."
"Okay..Come on kids, let's leave Sawsoso to do his grown-up stuff. We've got a lot of work today."
Everyone piles out of the van and follow the two masked keronains inside the Weather Bulding. In the reception room a orange-yellow keronian in the bright purple suit is there waiting. "Hey kids! I'm Kururu and welcome to the Rainbow Factory! It's like Willy Wonka in here!"
"Wait a minute!..Our punishment for failing our exam is that we have to take a tour of the Rainbow Factory with a crazy keronian?" Aoruru said confused.
"Yeah, which one of us if the fat kid baby? I call not it!" Taruru replided.
"I want to be a Ompa Lompa!" Pamama said and narrowed her eyes. "Take me to them so the deed may be done."
"Aoruru is the fat kid!" Tororo annouced.
"I..I don't even like chocolate!.."
"Too bad baby!" Taruru smirked.
"I am morally outraged with this fat kid thing, and in love with Taruru!" Sakuku said and looked at Taruru as she finshed. Everyone looked at her.
"What? Cut me some slack, he looks like my dad okay?"
"See? Were all having fun. There's no need to run away through the cloud-floor or through the walls or anything. Your not going to be grinded up into rainbows! Heh..Heh..What a silly thing to think what will happen 'ya know?..I don't even kno-.."
"They are going to grind us up into rainbows!" Pamama yelled.
"Now that is morally outragous right? Is anyone with me?" Sakuku asked. "I'm starting to get alittle frustrated over here."
"Oh cut it out you two; he just said we weren't going to be grinded up into rainbows." Tororo said.
"Yeah..That's kind of rude S-Sakuku." Aoruru spoke.
"YOUR THE FAT KID!" Sakuku yelled back.
Aoruru's arm fell off as she said that, and his eyes got wattery and sad.
"Wow, you are such a jerk." Pamama growled at her.
"Woah, that was low baby!" Taruru also said.
Tororo went to comfert Aoruru, "Hey your not fat."
"I'll always beeeee alllllooooonnnnneeeeehehee!" Aoruru ducked over crying. "What did he ever do to you?" Tororo asked looking at Sakuku.
"Okay kids! The time for redicule is over! I've got a super fun thing for you to do! It's a waver-form! It's like a maze, or connect the dots except it's a signature! Just write your names here and then were gonna go on a magical tour!" Kururu gave them the waver-form.
"Wait. Doesn't Willy Wonka kill all the children?" Pamama asked.
"Uh..Hey! That's a good point, okay I'm not Willy Wonka anymore, I'm Polka the Clown, he's safe with kids!"
"I declare that this cannot go wrong!"
So then they sign their wavers and follow Kururu on a tour of the factory. Which ends in a gigantic room made out of fluffy clouds. There's like a hundred other kids there too; most of them have the sniffles or or broken arms or legs, there's like one kid who has a massive glangula problem and his butt's like going through the floor; he'd make a terrible Weather Frog. There's also a big machine in there and it looks like about six Keronains in Mexican masks are watching it. There's cookies and punch by the door. Kururu walks off saying that he has to go talk to his boss and that there's cookies and punch by the door. "What is the machine for?"
"So, Sakuku; you love you some HOOT Taruru do 'ya?"
"Well maybe love isn't the right word.."
"Well baby the sky's like a big ocean and I'm your little seaenimi."
"I thought seaenimi's reproduce asexally."
"Not this seaenmi my hunkalisih manatine!"
Sakuku blushed; "That's just what my dad would say.." Everyone looked at her. "I don't try to enjoy the frogs in my life just enjoy their company."
"My dad was um, really good at um embroding." Aoruru said.
Suddenly, everyone goes quiet and their attention turns to the most awesome supervisor in the world who has just stepped onto the balcony above them. He's got his mask on backwards but he was in a hurry. But you could most likely tell he was the fastest supervisor in Keron. He can't breath or anything so he takes off his mask so he can turn it around and OH MY GOSH it's Sergeant Keroro; he's so awesome!
"Hi Keroro!" Tororo waved.
"Uh hey guys how's it going?"
"Were okay baby how are you?" Taruru lowered his eyes grinning. "Wanna meet my new girlfriend?" He held Sakuku close.
"Uh, sure yeah; I'll come right dow-.."
"Uh, hey boss aren't we supposed to, you know." Kururu whispered in his ear.
"Um..About that I was thinking that maybe, 'ya know; I'm really tired today and the kids just got here and, um, I mean we've got cookies and punch by the door; and I brought my stario. I-I was just thinking, insted of doing what we usualy do, maybe we can have a pizza party!"
"Okay; first thing: we can't efford that many pizzas, second thing is that we can efford anything at all is because someone pays us to do our job."
"Well it's a sucky job!"
"Hey Keroro." Tororo's voice rose up.
"Hey Tororo." He turned to her.
"Why are you wearing a resslular mask?"
"Oh, um; it's the dresscode we have to wear masks since this whole factory thing is a secret conspriesy, and we secretly grind tadpoles into rainbows; so I thought it would help everyone out to do like Crazy Tie Mondays and Casual Fridays, but they still have to where their mask 'cause they're induvidual so everyone gets to feel like they're regonized and important."
"That's really nice.."
"Yep! Even though I've been here for three days I'm the best supervisor."
"Um..What was that part about the rainbows and the grinding again?"
Kururu threw his afro at Keroro, "Man! You weren't supposed to tell them! They don't call it a consprisey when you annouce it to a room of a hundred children! Now I'm dressed up like Willy Wonka and a clown for nothing!"
Sakuku pointed to them, "See? Outrage; total outrage."
Aoruru squeezed his tail, "WERE GONNA BE GRINDED UP INTO RAINBOWS!"
"No! There's punch and cookies by the door! No rainbows; Pizza Party!" Keroro exclaimed.
"You've been grinding up people into rainbows baby? You sure you ain't grinding up our people HOOT!"
"N-No! I haven't done any grinding. On the first day I locked myself in the bathroom and I was all like NOWSDHSHSDYOUCANTMAKEMEDOETTKSHHDDYOUDIDNTTELLMEITBELITTLECHILDREN and they had to break down the door and drag me out of there. They sent me home after and the second day they had the key so they didn't have to break anything down and now this is the third day and we need a break and have a Pizza Party! There's cookies and punch by the door."
"What's the reason?!" Tororo demanded.
"There's a very good reason and I can totally explain maybe over some pizza?"
"No.." Kururu glanced at Keroro.
"There is no good reason for us to be grinded to rainbows!" Sakuku announced.
"I am a normal frog! And as such, I need a normal exclamation in detail, of the ritural sacrifice of children." Pamama said.
Kururu stared at Keroro.
"Your the one who told them in the first place."
"Yeah, okay; gimmie a second." He turned on his stario and a beat started to come on, and everyone looked at one another, then looked back up at him as he started to dance. Keroro went to the machine and pulled the lever down to ON; he then stared at the moving convatorpelt, then made his way back onto the balcony. "You will be turned into rainbows everyone will be so happy, you'll be grinded; that's okay though, cheer up, it's not so crappy!" He started to jump around; the tadpoles watching him oddly; and he sang while doing it. "If you are turned into a rainbow you won't be so disapointed when I put you in this hole!" He pointed at the hole. The tadpoles were all scrunch together, scared; and Pamama soon joined in unadmused. Keroro leaped to a position and pulled out a coducting stick, and slamed it onto a movie-paper thing. "This is where we take your taxes, this is where we make the weather, were not smart so please don't ask us; how did this man get so tied up?" He jumped away to some of the workers. "This job does not need a professinonal, that is how they got stuck with me." He leaped back onto the balcony, and started to dance again, smiling and his eyes closed happily.
"Man. That is a good reason but don't tell them nothing." Kururu said switching the power of the machine off.
"What do 'ya mean? I need the health benefits."
"I know but what about the history?"
"The history I can't go back to because I eat to much fastfood and it's really hard to pay my bills. Hey I admit they say you should do it for the love of the job and not for the money but the ecnomy is really rough right now and this is the best I could get."
"You know what? Forget you; I'm gonna explain excenso style." Kururu putted on a some-kind of sombraro. "Now listen up kids!" He sat in a chair with a quitar. "Let's go back 2000 years ago, everything you know was owned by the king, every blade of grass; even the sun. The grasshopper who sat on the grass, and the snake on the grass who ate the grasshopper. The goverment was owned by the king, united, devided, all by the king. Until one day, then. Came. The war. The Vipers swept from the sky, eyes and teeth like knives; hope seem lost then the king devleloped a plan. The power came to redeme the rest, this found war must be done. It must be something he could do without, he brevade the law and made his desision, no more rainbows; Keron's frogs were truely sad. Then when they found a solution they began to cry. Grinding our youth into colors, we must make rainbows; they're wasn't a choice. And so. We bulit a maaccccccchhhhhinnnnnneeeeeee.."
"Your plans are interesting. But I think they made me improved upon. For example: you can enscribe certain words on the machine when the children are sacrficed." Pamama said.
"Aww see! What a great kid she's so helpful, we should throw a Pizza Party."
"No man. If we don't do this now, It's gonna be us in that thing. Bring one of those kids up."
One of the works grabbed Sakuku and brought her up. Keroro looked uncertained and lowered his eyes, "Um..I don't know maybe we should sing another song.."
"We don't have time for another song! We'll sing tomorrow; now hurry up and do what has to be done!" Kururu demanded.
"O-Okay..! Okay..Sakuku, you just sit here and I.."
"Okay...So we discovered for what ever reason that the process works better if your holding a p-puppy so here's a puppy...I named him Mr. Snuffles because of the way he tickles my neck.." He began to cry. "And also..It works better if your holding a picture of your family..So here's a nice picture of your family wishing you g-good luck on the exam...A-And a-also i-it works better holding a box of crayons..S-So you can color when your going to Keronian HEAVENNNNNNNNN!"
"Man get over it. After a few of these it's like nothing. Sure you stay up late at night thinking about how your family would think of you; and you wonder what Keronian Hell is gonna be like, but other than that it's no big deal." He reached to pull the lever; but Keroro flung himself infront of him. "NO!"
"Come on man!"
"I-I'm not ready! A-And it's broken!"
"I'm the Factory Engineer I would know if the machine was broken or not. Now move or pull the lever yourself."
"O-Okay..Which part is that again? I think I need to go to the bathroom and read the manual!"
"Man; the bathroom doesn't have locks anymore."
"Here, let's do a test run. Take the kid off."
One of the workers took Sakuku and the puppy off; leaving the picture of her family and the box of crayons on the convator belt. Kururu pulled the lever down turning it ON, and the picture of Sakuku's family and the crayons went in disappering into the sharp blades. After some silly noises a stream of rainbows flow out of the buttom of the machine and into a giant pan.
"D-Did that thing just make rainbows?" Kururu stared down at the machine.
"Yeah..That's what it's supposed to do right?"
"Out of crayons and a picture of a girl's family? Are you kidding me? We don't even need a kid?"
"Dum..I guess so.."
"Quick! Put another picture of a kid's family on there!"
And they do and sure enough the machine produces batch of rainbows.
"Aww man..I can't believe were going to Keronian Hell for nothing.."
Given the new circumstances, everyone gets to go home to their families; where they get to take happy pictures that has feed to the machine for the cause of goverment. The politicies celebrate by lowering taxes for the rich, yay! So..The end!